Coming Out as a Mystic
When I first began to reach out beyond my local group and connect with broader Heathenry in 2006, I found sharing certain details, like leaning most towards Frey and His kin, to be met largely with sarcasm and scorn. I was very hurt, but I know something now that I didn’t realize back then.
You can waltz onto an e-list or at a pub moot and declare yourself Grand Poobah of Navel-Gazing, and expect people to be in awe of your MIGHTY SHAMANIC POWERS!!!11!!1! At least where Heathens are concerned it will universally go over like a lead balloon. This is because in Heathenry, you are your deeds. You can talk a good game but even if you compose the best poetry and prayers in the worlds and have profound insights, if people don’t know you well enough to judge if you’re legit, and if you go on to prove yourself to be immature and with sucky deeds, then don’t expect to be accepted. And if you piss and moan about how TEH HEETHNS R MEEN, you are going to marginalize yourself and look like a whiny ass.
Now, I do find that depending on where you go, there are mixed feelings about magic and mysticism in Heathenry. A lot of Heathens initially come from Neopaganism where there are plenty of Silver Ravenwolf-educated “High Priestesses” who learned GREAT MAGYCK from a past life as Morgan le Fay. There are people in Heathenry who will offer to teach seiðr practices to anyone who asks (1. while the basics can be taught it’s something you’re either wired for or not, 2. there are risks involved so it’s foolhardy to try to teach it to others), or treat runes like a self-help tool, and this is not anything new. Even among legitimate mystics, seiðfolk, and magic users, there is still a disproportionately higher number of us now than were back in arch-Heathen times. I have my theory as to why this is so, but not everyone will understand or agree.
What ultimately has to be kept in mind when deciding how to disclose and how much to disclose about a personal mystical practice, is that respect is earned, you are not automatically entitled to it by existing. Nobody has to buy what you’re selling and take everything at face value, especially if they’ve had more than their fill of wannabes, crazies, and frauds. I will say from past experience that people could also be more helpful rather than immediately scoffing at someone and tearing them down, even if it’s only politely referring them to material that would help with more traditional Heathen magic techniques like seiðr and runes. But at the same time, coming in expecting people to be impressed by your personal gnosis when you have not first worthed yourself, is most likely going to be met with disappointment.
If you are introducing yourself to anyone as a mystic, and especially in Heathen circles, my advice is don’t do it right away. Let people get to know you first before you start talking about any “woo” stuff. Let people get a feel for who and what you’re about. Because if you come in right off the bat about “woo” it makes people think you want to be special, even if that’s not really your intent. Let your deeds do the work for you, first. And when you do start talking about “woo” there are a couple of things to remember:
-Discussing things on something like LiveJournal or with a collection of well-written essays on a website is useful for if you want to discuss the mystical side of your practice. A good essay is worth more than an awkward conversation, and both can be referred to later for future reference, so the body of work would be more preferable than being remembered as a yutz.
-Only share what’s relevant. There are honestly some personal gnoses best left between you and The Powers That Be or a couple of really close friends, not the whole damn world.
I wish someone had let me know these things years ago, and which is why I put it here for public consumption now. If you are a Heathen mystic, your job is not to look glamorous and brag about how powerful you are, but to be in the service of others in the community. Service is offered, not thrust upon people (esp. if you claim to speak for their Gods without anyone asking you to), and should always be to build others up rather than tear them down or control them. If you have long-standing issues that you have not resolved, do so before ever offering your spiritual work to others, or you will find yourself on a fast track to unethical practices and doing damage to Heathenry as a whole.
© 2009 Svartesól.
Essay reproduced with the kind permission of Svartesol.
